“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” — Paulo Coehlo
Who’s getting the best of you?
Is it your customers? Is it your kids? Is it your partner?
If you answered yes to any of those, you’re wrong. If you’re not getting the best of you, no one is.
Let’s imagine that your energy and resources are like a well. Continually giving everyone else your best and not giving yourself the best of you is like dipping into that well constantly without letting it refill. At a certain point, you’ll be scraping the bottom.
And when your well is dry, you can’t give water to anyone.
But there’s no time!, you object. (Yes, I heard you.)
I know it seems that way, but underneath the appearance of a time vacuum is an amalgam of priorities, intentions, and actions out of alignment. We all have the same 24 hours available to us, and it’s true that you’re juggling being a mom, an entrepreneur, a partner, the star PTA member, the head of neighborhood watch, and …
Slow down, Superwoman. Yes, you are a superhero, but even superheroes need a break.
Trying to be all things to all people is as bad for us on the personal side as it is for our businesses. One of the easiest ways to find time to give yourself the best is to get real about the things you really want to excel in and all the things you don’t need to.
For instance, you could decide that Mrs. Jones next door – who will inevitably ratchet up the Super Mom war no matter what you do – can head the neighborhood watch, thus freeing up that time, energy, and attention for you to build your business or spend more time being with your kids instead of just running them everywhere.
Or maybe Glee and Grey’s Anatomy aren’t providing the same value to you as they used to and you could instead take a bath while you listen to spa music on Pandora. (Pandora Spa Radio + bath = bliss, I promise.) And, even if Glee and Grey’s Anatomy are nourishing you, you could do some task layering and watch them on your laptop while you’re cooking or folding laundry.
Perhaps waking up 30 minutes earlier – which is easier than you think if you take the transition slower – would give you 30 minutes of quiet time for you before the kids wake up and you jump headlong into the fray of juggling all the different roles you need to be for everyone else.
These are just a few weekday changes you could make. There are also many ways to make your weekends more spacious and you-supportive, too.
You are your single best asset, so don’t wait for other people to take care of you.
Yes, I am dogged about this. I work with moms and wives almost every day, and I’m married to an awesome woman who has strong over-achiever tendencies.
I’ve experienced the difference between these superwomen giving and living from the inside out rather than depleting themselves in the steadfast effort to take care of everything and everybody else.
You deserve the best of you. And everyone around you benefits when you get it.
How are you going to make time to give yourself the best part of you today? What specific change are you going to make?