On the day after Mother’s Day, there’s a spike in registration of married women to infidelity-matchmaking services.
Kind of amazing, but the day after mothers are supposed to be celebrated, appreciated and fêted for doing all that they do, they are actively seeking appreciation and adoration from someone else – someone who’s not their spouse!
Clearly, something is amiss with Mother’s Day. But is it really just about Mother’s Day?
Mother’s Day carries big expectations of wanting to really be acknowledged for all the zillions of things we do as mothers.
And when we don’t feel valued or ‘seen’ for all the caring, giving, fetching, planning, shopping, etc, it can feel like a disappointment – which easily shifts into resentment.
On top of that, add the unique demands of being a mompreneur. You’re not just trying to keep the family ship sailing smoothly, you’re trying to run a business at the same time. Steering two ships at once, all the time.
We mompreneurs do so much! Right there in our job title are two positions. There’s no way that one day – Mother’s Day – can fill up our completely natural need to be valued, appreciated, respected and honored for all the we are, and do.
The superficial way to look at the “moms-checking-out-infidelity-websites” issue, is to re-invent Mother’s Day and give our spouse and kids tips on how better to celebrate us on that day. There’s a whole industry built on finding lovely ways for our family to say they appreciate and love us – festive brunches, gorgeous flowers and heartfelt cards. Now don’t get me wrong, these traditions are wonderful! I certainly wouldn’t want to pass up on them – but there’s got to be more – because just one day of “you’re an awesome mom” can’t cut it.
The real issue of mompreneurs being appreciated is much deeper.
We want our families to show their appreciation and gratitude all year long. We want them to say “thank you” that we’ve schlepped them to yet another after-school event or college tour. We deserve a standing ovation that dinner even exists on the table. We deserve a diploma for simply figuring out everyone’s schedule and making it all work. We need our spouse to acknowledge and support the vision that we have for our business and see how it’s a huge contribution to the family, not a drain.
There has to be an underlying culture of mom-appreciation and mom-value. But how do we create that culture of mom-appreciation year round?
It’s a three-step process:
1. Train your family to express their gratitude – ask to be valued!
Nope, it’s not cheating at all! You don’t have to wait ‘til appreciation bubbles forth from your spouse or kids unsolicited.
A simple “I’ll take a thanks Mom (or Honey) for doing the…dishes, carpool, etc.” will do. It draws their attention to what you’ve done and gives them an easy way to acknowledge it. It doesn’t matter that they didn’t initiate it. They’ll learn, just set the example.
2. Share your work challenges and accomplishments.
Mompreneurs can tend to keep their day to day work to themselves and yet your kids and spouse certainly feel the impact of you running your own business.
If you share your goals, your challenges and your accomplishments your family is more able to really appreciate what you are creating and appreciate your entrepreneurial ways versus just seeing your business simply as a time-thief – taking you away from the family.)
2. Train yourself to appreciate, respect and take-care of yourself!
The real place that the mom-appreciation culture comes from is within.
If we as moms don’t value our selves enough, if we don’t acknowledge and appreciate all that we do, if we don’t treat ourselves with respect and kindness, if we don’t model what it looks like to take the very best care of ourselves – we can’t train our family to do the same. It’s about modeling…and it begins with you.
Moms notoriously put themselves last on the to-do list, if we even get on our list at all! But investing time and energy on yourself, doing what makes you feel your best teaches you the art of self-love and self-appreciation. Valuing yourself with radical self-care is not a luxury. Investing in yourself will shift how you feel about yourself, which affects how everyone else sees you!
When you see yourself as a mogul mom, so do those around you. When you see yourself as the smokin’ hot mom that you are, that’s how you’ll be perceived.
So this Mother’s day:
- Ask specifically for what you want so you aren’t disappointed
- Do something for yourself that acknowledges your powerful role as a mom and mompreneur.
- Make everyday mother’s day so that each and every day you are honored by yourself and those around you.
About the author:
Nina Manolson, M.A. CHHC is the Smokin’ Hot Mom Mentor who helps busy moms create a positive and healthy relationship with their body, food and life. Her free CD “The 7 Steps to Being A Smokin’ Hot Mom” is available at SmokinHotMom.com.